Remain Here

Jesus went before us to prepare the way to Heaven. He instructed his disciples, to "remain here and keep watch" while He prayed and begged His Father to let the trial of the cross pass by Him. We are disciples of Christ and as such He instructs us to remain here and keep watch for His next coming, so He can take us home with Him.

Waiting is hard, just ask my four year old daughter. We try not to tell her something is coming up until it is almost here. Otherwise we are inundated for weeks with, "When is Grammy going to be here?" and "Is Grammy here yeeeeeeeeet?!" and "When are you leaving so Grammy can get here?" She gets it from me, of course. I get snarky and short tempered when I don't get enough sleep, when I'm hungry, and when I haven't had enough hugs. I can't blame the poor thing for her genes.

When the disciples were told to "remain here and keep watch with me" they got bored and fell asleep! I would have done the same thing! I know it is mommy sacrilege to complain about my mommyhood, but what about when my butt falls asleep because I've been sitting on the floor all day, while my 7 month old figures out the mechanics of crawling? I find myself scrolling on Facebook instead of paying attention to all the little details about this experience. Isn't Christ in this baby girl that I created? Can't I remain here with her while she learns and explores this world for the first time? What about when my son is trying to tell me ALL about the details of the make believe world he has created and I find myself cleaning the counters and doing the dishes while he pours all his creativity out on me, even if it is for the thousandth time? Can't I remain in this moment in time and keep watch while my son becomes a man in front of my eyes?

What about when only part of me cuddles with my children during their PBS show, the other part of me is too busy updating my calorie app and checking Facebook, again. I lead an incredibly busy life and my attention span is minuscule! How can I blame the disciples for falling asleep while sitting around, waiting for Jesus to pray? And yet Jesus scolded them. Of course he forgave them and gave them a second chance and you know what they did? They fell asleep, again! How many chances will He give me? How many chances will my children give me?

Sometimes I pester God in my prayers, "Lord, when will you show me your plan? When will you answer this prayer?" I sound a bit like my daughter.  

However, I scold my kids when they aren't paying attention to me and I have had to repeat myself over and over; my patience is on the edge. So am I being like Jesus? Or am I being like the disciples by demonstrating an inability to focus on the things that matter? If that's the case, then my children have no choice but to follow suit. Luckily, God doesn't scold me when I pester Him. He looks at me with patience and love. He asks me to trust His plan and to keep watch while His Will unfolds, so that I don't miss the splendor He wants to reveal to me.

I know from personal experience that there might not be a tomorrow with those I love. So this morning, getting my kids ready for school, brushing their hair, packing their back packs, gathering this laundry, changing this diaper, making this breakfast, picking up these toys, this might be my last chance. This is my last chance for these exact moments and, Lord knows that, like the disciples, I am a work in progress. However, I have something in my mommy tool box that the disciples probably didn't have that night that Christ asked them to keep watch with Him. Coffee.